We all have been where I am now. A million different reasons, circumstances and events have brought us each to the spot I have just stepped off of…on my way to where my choice will lead.
I’m talking about that feeling ladies-the one where we are BURSTING with something fresh, lovely, bold, intuitive, brazen or just plain unconventional. We have discovered a tiny path through a thick forest-walked only by a few, but noticed and gazed at by many. Within us, we have this understanding that something-must-change.
Outside of us however, there are many conventions-beliefs about who we must/should/need to be. The “right order” of priorities, opportunities and advantages. It could be motherhood-coupledom-school-health conditions or simply (but powerfully) our own long-held shortsighted perspectives. No matter the specific reason, we each have found ourselves here, in this jar-lid purposefully and tightly sealed, cramped and wanting out….no matter the “how”, the feeling of being more than what we are-of deserving a chance to BECOME all we were created to be, remains the same.
I’ve been standing on this well-worn spot for quite awhile now. I’ve looked all around me and practically begged people to give me the answers I need-the permission to fly-the equation for freedom.
But finally, I have uncovered the secret. Not in an ancient text or written in the sky-just here. In my heart, through the wise counsel of women who have been here. I could only find this on my own after being tired of this place. After being fed-up with fetters and chock-full of shackles.
I discovered, that though I willingly crawled into the jar, believing wholeheartedly in good faith that I was safe inside-and that should I ever be ready (healthy, strong etc…) enough to come out, the lid would be opened willingly for me…..
And, as so many others before me, I have discovered this is not the case. People don’t like change. They are used to us being in the jar, living the title, fulfilling the role….and to set us free means risking it all.
So I’ve been standing here, on this wellworn circle of grass-waiting-praying-wishing-dreaming that someone, that one specific someone in particular, would take the plunge, the risk, the chance. On me. On my intellect, my intuition, my drive and determination, my well-proven track record of creating things out of nothing. “Open the lid”, I begged. “Please let me try…” I pleaded. “Just give me a chance!” I demanded.
But here’s the secret: I may have climbed into the jar willingly, and we make choices based on the information we have at the time. And that’s ok. But I do NOT have to stay inside willingly.
This whole time, I’ve believed the only way out was through the top, my cramped limbs and unflexed muscles have been straining to stay contained-trying to find a way to be comfortable where I am.
But what if: What if I stop straining to stay contained? And instead simply allowed my limbs-my wings-to open and stretch to their fullest potential? I’ll tell you what happens: This jar would explode into oblivion. It cannot contain me-how silly I was to think it would!
It would be lovely if our partners, parents, bosses and ourselves would simply open the lid and make our coming out an easy and peaceful transition, sprinkling flower petals as we walked our rite.
But this is seldom the way true heroines emerge. Heroines give themselves the permission that the damsels in distress ask others to give to them.
Besides- there is something to be said for explosive entrances-the kind that cause eyebrows to raise, and make people ask the question:
“Who is this Wild Woman, and HOW did she get into that tiny Jar!”