I’ve started a natural health news site, which is going to focus on natural alternatives and recent information  for those in the attachment parenting and natural living communities. I want to create a site that is trustworthy, and isn’t geared toward “fear” and manipulation, as I feel many natural health new sites are.

I am hoping to have regular writers on board, so if you are interested in writing on a particular subject, and can commit at least 3 months of once per week articles, please contact me at: editor at natural health gazette dot com.

Visit the site to see what we’re up to!

Natural Health News for Real Families

1) If you’ve ever breastfed in Costco/The dentist’s chair/a parent teacher conference/church service/doctor’s office or any other public place-simply because your baby was hungry…you might just be a crunchy mama.

2) If you’ve ever held your baby in arms while figuring out how to undo your jeans with one hand-because nature was calling and your baby would cry if put down even for 5 minutes…you might just be a crunchy mama.

3) If you’ve ever donated your breast milk to a baby in need, or fed another woman’s infant when she was ill…you might just be a crunchy mama.

4) If you know the difference between a Mei Tai and a Mai Tai…you might just be a crunchy mama.

5) If you have ever held your 3 month old infant over a public restroom toilet, expecting her to actually pee-and she did-you might just be a crunchy mama.

6) If you don’t have to wear a scarf under your winter coat, because your baby keeps you nice and cozy…you might just be a crunchy mama.

7) If you have ever found out after the fact that your kids had played with someone who might have been contagious from the chicken pox, and actually HOPED your kids would get it…you might just be a crunchy mama.

8 ) If you own more breastfeeding shirts than non-breastfeeding shirts…you might just be a crunchy mama.

9) If your nursling can walk over to you and ask to nurse…you might just be a crunchy mama.

10) If your birthstories are set in your bathroom, bedroom, living room or backyard or underwater…you might just be a crunchy mama.

11) If you have a bottle of pills in your cupboard that say “Placenta” on the label…you might just be a crunchy mama.

12) If your kids ask for brussels sprouts, broccoli, or almonds at the grocery store, with the same dramatic flair other kids employ when asking for candy bars, (much to the amazement of onlookers)…you might just be a crunchy mama.

I thought I’d share our Elimination Communication journey in short-journal format. I’ll just add to this post when I’m able, so keep this link for updates!

Day1: I purchased Ingrid Bauer’s “Diaper Free” for my computer’s Kindle, and skimmed the important chapters-literally 1 hour after I purchased the book, I decided to give it a try.

It was interesting to think she could go diaper free, but those first couple of hours diaper-less were filled with constant wondering if “now” was going to be the time she needed to “go”. How would I know when she needed to potty? Would she just pee and poo on everything until I could catch them? Would we be able to do something that goes against so much of our society’s teaching about potty “learning”?

I decided to just jump right in, which resulted in a catch right away-followed by 2 pees I didn’t. After changing my clothes twice in a matter of an hour, I started to notice she would vocalize a bit like she was fussy right before she needed to go. The sound she made was not a hungry cry, or any other one I recognized before-but I decided to offer the potty any time she made those noises. (And other times when I just had the “feeling” she needed it.) This increased our success, and we ended up with several more catches-including a poo. I felt encouraged by our success the first day, and looked forward to the second day.

Day2: Immediately this AM, we had a catch and then more misses. Ella’s tummy was sore today-colic was back, so it made it difficult to determine what she needed. I offered the potty often, and made the sssssss sound, which did end in success a few times, but she was wiggly from her tummy being sore. We are using a pail at the moment and it has sharp edges, so I’m holding her above it-not very comfortable! I think I need to order a “real” baby potty if we’re going to have real success.

Day3: I ordered a baby potty yesterday, with a hemp fleece cover, so that Ella can be more comfortable when pottying. I think this will be helpful-She likes to potty in the sink while smiling at herself. A few times, when I’ve known she needed to go, but she wasn’t releasing her bladder I’d take her into the bathroom, distract her in the mirror, turn on the water and Voila! This AM, we’ve had 4 pee catches-and her AM diaper was just damp instead of soaked through like it usually is. I am loving the lowered laundry amounts, since when we have a miss in a diaper (mostly during naps) it is one 1, and it’s usually small-so just changing the insert solves the problem without washing the whole diaper. It is now 11am, and we haven’t had any misses all day-though she is napping with a diaper on at the moment, so we’ll see…

Day4: Today was a difficult day. Ella had a sore tummy, which made her cuing not easy for me to read. It was also the weekend, and I got caught up watching some Youtube videos and honestly wasn’t paying very good attention. Because of the combination, we had about as many misses as catches, and one…well…one was a missed poo, and it was quite messy. Did I mention she was on my lap? lol I am grateful however, that we’re doing this while it’s just breastfeeding poo, and not when it gets more yucky. BFing poo isn’t smelly and doesn’t have the same gross-out factor as older child BMs. In the end, I put a diaper on her and took a break because I felt myself getting frustrated, which is totally not helpful for either one of us.

Day5: I woke up and took Ella right to the sink in my attached bathroom, and in spite of a wet diaper, she had a huge pee and poo first thing! This was encouraging, seeing as the day before was so challenging. The day went great! We used diapers at nap times, which were slightly wet when she awoke, but had only 1 miss the rest of our EC time. We started at 8am and continued to around 2:30, and then went out for a visit at a neighbor’s house, (with diaper on) where she had a small wet diaper. We returned and she was diapered while I made dinner, and then had a couple of pottying times before bed. All in all, today was a great EC day!

Month 2: So-we’ve been ECing part-time for 2 months now. There are times when we go several days in a row without a single miss-and then we’ll have a couple of days when we miss a LOT! It’s strange, because sometimes she’ll cue and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes she goes when offered a potty, and sometimes she waits till she’s OFF the potty to pee. I have noticed that there seems to be a correlation between how she’s feeling and the amount of EC success. If she’s on-schedule and slept well and I haven’t eating anything that upset her tummy, we have much better success. If I eat something that gives her tummy trouble, or she had a pour night’s sleep, we are less likely to have great success.

Another thing I’ve noticed, is that when I attach a goal to the day, and thereby an emotional investment in the process, it seems to go badly. If I just let her do what she’s going to do, and do not feel I am “failing” if we miss, there seems to be an obvious improvement in our miss/catch ratio. I find this remarkable, because I am not acting differently either way, but she can clearly feel my feelings and is responding to that…

I ordered a set of tiny undies from an Etsy shop last week. I’ll post pics and more when they arrive!

Weeping is normal-it’s good to grieve, or so that’s what the experts have plastered all over the internet. But what I need is an answer-I don’t understand how I could’ve lost a second baby in a mere 3 months. In this short span of time, I’ve managed to even my number between “live births” and “miscarriages”. 3-3.

I’ve never had a difficult time conceiving and have 3 healthy children, with only a miscarriage of a twin with my first pregnancy as any kind of experience with this heartwrenching sadness. I’m getting older. I’ve hit the magical number 35, where people say things can become very difficult-though friends from highschool are celebrating their swelling bellies and surprise pregnancies with the flourish all babies deserve. So why me?

When the first miscarriage happened 3 months ago, it was just 4 days after I discovered I was expecting-and to be honest it scared me a bit, but I chalked it up to being older and just a normal part of nature’s weeding out process. So we tried again. We agreed that this time, if the baby didn’t “stick”, we wouldn’t keep trying. We’d consider it a sign that our family was complete and we could move on to the next stage of life.

But that was before this happened. I am so confused with emotions right now-anger, annoyance, frustration, sadness, intense grief-you name it I have it. There’s even maybe a small hint of relief in there-which ironically is so minute in comparison to the sadness that I wonder how I ever considered that my childbearing years could be done.

Friends tell me that I’m not too old-that it just will take some support this time around-that I need to heal and then try again. But I’m pushing 36 and I don’t want to have a baby when I’m 38 years old, wasting time waiting for appointments with specialists and trying to source illegal natural products that help boost progesterone levels naturally. I don’t have time for that- Time flies by so quickly.

I feel like I’m just stuck-I can’t just “try again”, because my risk of a third is very high unless I sort out what’s causing them in the first place. I have no idea what to do.

I realize I haven’t bought more iron pills, and have been out of them for several days-which would partly explain the wooziness I feel. I want to wake my husband up and tell him to hold me and then go run these errands for me so I can stay in bed and cry-but I don’t think that would be fair considering how hard he’s been working lately. So I call the store to find out when they open, and make a deal with myself to get out of bed in 38 minutes.

I lie there, snuggling my dog, feeling exhausted-like a woman who has been running for days and is not allowed to stop-I’m not sure where this is coming from, since I haven’t hardly been out of bed in 2 days.

When I first saw the blood this time, I called my husband who was on his way back from a client’s office, sobbing and freaking out. He told me he was sorry-and then I couldn’t talk so I crawled in bed and waited for him. There was quite a bit of cramping, but so little blood and tissue that I figured it could just be spotting, and I held onto that hope like a good luck charm. And I rested. And I waited.

The time on my clock says it’s time to get up, so I get dressed-which I honestly don’t remember doing, set the kids up with my computer to keep them busy while I run to the store, (hubby is still snoozing) and I leave. It’s a sunny but foggy day-and my first stop is to the library-I rented a few movies this past weekend, and need to return them. As I walk to the dropbox with the pile of videos in my hand, I remember that one is a prenatal workout video-and I can feel myself getting choked up again. I hate that I’m so emotional, and as I drop them in the slot-I notice that the sound they make hitting the bottom sounds remarkedly final.

I drive to my next stop, the grocery store for a couple items-as I’m walking in a beautiful redheaded woman in a raspberry top and flowing skirt is exiting about 10 feet infront of me. She’s probably about 8 months along. I don’t even know what to think, so I lower my eyes. I don’t want her to see me-I’m sure she can tell that my body is a baby killer.

I don’t even care how irrational that sounds-I feel broken-and ashamed.

My last stop is a small department store to purchase a birthday gift for my almost 5 year old. 2 more days, and my youngest will be 5. He stopped nursing 3 months ago, and at the time I was relieved, because I thought maybe I miscarried because he was still nursing since it happened immediately following his evening ni-nis. But now I want it back. I may never nurse a babe again-and that thought scared the crap out of me.

I’m one of the first people there for today, so I pull into a parking spot, turn off my car, unbuckle my seatbelt, grab my purse-and turn to get out of my car. Until I see that I had inadvertantly parked in the expectant mother parking. That’s when I lose it. I start crying like some crazy person right there in public view. I’m so glad that I’m very early and the parking lot is nearly empty, because I turn the car on, and slam it into reverse to park across in the other aisle and I’m not quite sure I would’ve missed something had it been behind me. I sit in this new-non pregnant lady-parking spot, looking across the aisle at the sign and thinking to myself-how the hell did I end up here?

I gather myself, dodge the concerned looks of the workers in the store who can tell I’m obviously not ok, get what I need and exit quickly. The fog has lifted and all this crying has done me some good. I’m still teary, but I can tell that as my pregnancy symptoms are diminishing, so will the pain of this loss.

I am not sure what to do, and I probably won’t know the answer for awhile yet. I’m not sure I’ll try again, since the risk of another is so high and my emotional state so fragile. But that’s today. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s not to assume you know what tomorrow will bring.

We spend a lot of time, money and effort in this “civilized” society,

Contradicting-covering up all signs of having been a mother-So much value is put on the “resilience” of womanhood, that we’ve forgotten the importance of transformation.

See, sometimes it is better to move forward-and not to go back to what we were before.

We go to classes to lose the “baby weight”, we use product to fade the stretch marks,

 And we go to great lengths to disguise, exercise away, and even surgically remove the “baby pooch”, or the now slightly less full and round breasts that becoming a mother has left us with.

But don’t believe it for a second.

One day, when your kids are grown, you will treasure those sagging breasts for the memories they bring of late night nursings, and children who curled up to you for comfort when they were afraid. The very same breasts that comforted your crying babe, will also comfort you one day-later in life.

Don’t be fooled by the glitz and pointless glamour of perfect bodies and lives untouched by children raised by daycare providers and nannies:

Motherhood, for all its difficulties, all its inconveniences and all its internal challenges-is intended, no created-to be transformational.

Here is the advice I would give to a younger “sister” about to embark on Motherhood:

Staying true to who you are is NOT the same thing as keeping the same friends and going out every Friday night, just as you did before children. Becoming a mother will sort-out your friends from the deadweight in your life, because you simply will not have the energy to spend maintaining friendships that don’t enrich.

Your body is supposed to be different. The pictures in magazines don’t do justice to the beauty that lies in a body that has been marked forever by the process of pregnancy and birth. There is no surgeon, no exercise, and no cream that can make a woman’s body as beautiful as the natural changes that occur when she is a vessel for life’s coming-forth.

Let Motherhood Change You.

When we hold our tiny babies in our arms, and no one else is around, we can hear our babies speaking to our hearts-whispering to us of free spirits, infinite love, peace that passes all understanding, and joy-the kind of joy that makes us dance in the rain, not caring who thinks we’ve lost our marbles. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself one day actually dancing in the rain-or jumping in mud puddles. Having children gives us the chance to live-the excuse to make memories that will last forever-sometimes memories that heal parts of our past and fulfill longings left unsatisfied as a child.

They also reflect back to us all that we used to be-once upon a time-before the Teachers: Hurt, Disappointment, Loneliness and Sadness joined our path. We are reminded that what we do to others affects their paths too-and our perception on our interconnectedness with all other living beings is changed forever. Mothers feel a deeper need to protect the innocent, fight for justice and cause lasting change to policies because we recognize that all people everywhere have been mothered. And that we are mothers to the world-and all its inhabitants.

We also realize suddenly one day, that if these small beings-who depend on us for their very lives-can choose us to care for them, we must live up to being worthy of this honor-and in order to accomplish this lofty goal, it is imperative to seek with all our hearts to understand what we are really capable of, and then to allow ourselves to be inspired to do what we never thought we could do before.

Motherhood is a process.

You will not be a perfect mother, just as you were not a perfect woman. Motherhood, the same as life-is a process, a journey. It is not a standard to live by, and there are no hard and fast definitions for what makes an ideal mother. You and your child will grow that definition each day-one day at a time. Don’t be hard on yourself.

Being a Mother will bring things to light.

Nothing will sort out confusing emotions and memories from our own childhood like being a mother. You WILL do things your parents did, simply because that’s all you know. Some of these things will be gems-things you are so glad you experienced and can now pass on. And some of these things will shock you-even anger you-because they go against what YOU believe parenting should be. Don’t chide yourself because of this. Take a deep breath, and be grateful for your awareness that gives you the chance to do better than the generation before you, and pray that your child does better in hers/his. Remember that you are redefining your own motherhood journey (and your child’s) every day.

Your children are of you, but do not belong to you. Don’t be fooled-they are full beings, and come here knowing more about the things that really matter than we do after all these years of “growing up”….because we have forgotten so much.

Being a mother teaches us just how to let go, and reminds us to have a sense of humor.  Kids WILL fill their diapers at the most inopportune times, and are guaranteed to start wailing at the exact moment you pray they will be still. They will be perfect angels all day until you arrive at your Mother in Law’s house, and they will never EVER sit still for photos. This is just the way it is. The faster you learn to choose your battles, the more fun with it you will have.

And finally fun is the thing.

Seriously. Even if some days you have to “fake it till you feel it”, have some kind of fun every single day. 

Without fun-this life of motherhood would be nothing more than piles of laundry, dishes and a constant and exhausting battle of wills. But with an element of fun? Well, your outlook is brighter, your children happier and your inner self more at peace. Maybe it’s the happiness you feel watching your little one discover something about the world you’ve taken for granted. Maybe it’s a tickle fight or a race to see who can get dressed in PJs the fastest.

It is these childlike thrills and small bits of guiltless pleasure that will make your experience of motherhood the journey to joy that was always intended. 

We spend a lot of time, money and effort in this “civilized” society,

Contradicting-covering up all signs of having been a mother-So much value is put on the “resilience” of womanhood, that we’ve forgotten the importance of transformation.

See, sometimes it is better to move forward-and not to go back to what we were before.

We go to classes to lose the “baby weight”, we use product to fade the stretch marks,

 And we go to great lengths to disguise, exercise away, and even surgically remove the “baby pooch”, or the now slightly less full and round breasts that becoming a mother has left us with.

But don’t believe it for a second.

One day, when your kids are grown, you will treasure those sagging breasts for the memories they bring of late night nursings, and children who curled up to you for comfort when they were afraid. The very same breasts that comforted your crying babe, will also comfort you one day-later in life.

Don’t be fooled by the glitz and pointless glamour of perfect bodies and lives untouched by children raised by daycare providers and nannies:

Motherhood, for all its difficulties, all its inconveniences and all its internal challenges-is intended, no created-to be transformational.

Here is the advice I would give to a younger “sister” about to embark on Motherhood:

Staying true to who you are is NOT the same thing as keeping the same friends and going out every Friday night, just as you did before children. Becoming a mother will sort-out your friends from the deadweight in your life, because you simply will not have the energy to spend maintaining friendships that don’t enrich.

Your body is supposed to be different. The pictures in magazines don’t do justice to the beauty that lies in a body that has been marked forever by the process of pregnancy and birth. There is no surgeon, no exercise, and no cream that can make a woman’s body as beautiful as the natural changes that occur when she is a vessel for life’s coming-forth.

Let Motherhood Change You.

When we hold our tiny babies in our arms, and no one else is around, we can hear our babies speaking to our hearts-whispering to us of free spirits, infinite love, peace that passes all understanding, and joy-the kind of joy that makes us dance in the rain, not caring who thinks we’ve lost our marbles. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself one day actually dancing in the rain-or jumping in mud puddles. Having children gives us the chance to live-the excuse to make memories that will last forever-sometimes memories that heal parts of our past and fulfill longings left unsatisfied as a child.

They also reflect back to us all that we used to be-once upon a time-before the Teachers: Hurt, Disappointment, Loneliness and Sadness joined our path. We are reminded that what we do to others affects their paths too-and our perception on our interconnectedness with all other living beings is changed forever. Mothers feel a deeper need to protect the innocent, fight for justice and cause lasting change to policies because we recognize that all people everywhere have been mothered. And that we are mothers to the world-and all its inhabitants.

We also realize suddenly one day, that if these small beings-who depend on us for their very lives-can choose us to care for them, we must live up to being worthy of this honor-and in order to accomplish this lofty goal, it is imperative to seek with all our hearts to understand what we are really capable of, and then to allow ourselves to be inspired to do what we never thought we could do before.

Motherhood is a process.

You will not be a perfect mother, just as you were not a perfect woman. Motherhood, the same as life-is a process, a journey. It is not a standard to live by, and there are no hard and fast definitions for what makes an ideal mother. You and your child will grow that definition each day-one day at a time. Don’t be hard on yourself.

Being a Mother will bring things to light.

Nothing will sort out confusing emotions and memories from our own childhood like being a mother. You WILL do things your parents did, simply because that’s all you know. Some of these things will be gems-things you are so glad you experienced and can now pass on. And some of these things will shock you-even anger you-because they go against what YOU believe parenting should be. Don’t chide yourself because of this. Take a deep breath, and be grateful for your awareness that gives you the chance to do better than the generation before you, and pray that your child does better in hers/his. Remember that you are redefining your own motherhood journey (and your child’s) every day.

Your children are of you, but do not belong to you. Don’t be fooled-they are full beings, and come here knowing more about the things that really matter than we do after all these years of “growing up”….because we have forgotten so much.

Being a mother teaches us just how to let go, and reminds us to have a sense of humor.  Kids WILL fill their diapers at the most inopportune times, and are guaranteed to start wailing at the exact moment you pray they will be still. They will be perfect angels all day until you arrive at your Mother in Law’s house, and they will never EVER sit still for photos. This is just the way it is. The faster you learn to choose your battles, the more fun with it you will have.

And finally fun is the thing.

Seriously. Even if some days you have to “fake it till you feel it”, have some kind of fun every single day. 

Without fun-this life of motherhood would be nothing more than piles of laundry, dishes and a constant and exhausting battle of wills. But with an element of fun? Well, your outlook is brighter, your children happier and your inner self more at peace. Maybe it’s the happiness you feel watching your little one discover something about the world you’ve taken for granted. Maybe it’s a tickle fight or a race to see who can get dressed in PJs the fastest.

It is these childlike thrills and small bits of guiltless pleasure that will make your experience of motherhood the journey to joy that was always intended. 

Here is my vision:
As a fellow artist, I understand how frustrating it can be to send product to be sold on consignment. To begin with, there are hardly ever advertising opportunities, since the shop wishes to keep all business going through their shop-a second issue I’ve found, is that there is rarely any feedback on either the product or the sales, and you’re left just waiting and hoping for some money for product you created with the high hopes of someone loving it!
So I will be doing this slightly different. What I am offering is a more personal arrangement. You will have your picture (if you wish), your paragraph about your work and your business cards there with your product. So not only will you make sales through the shop, but you could be contacted for commissioned work by the customers directly, thus bypassing the sales “fee” completely!
I will also provide customer feedback upon request at anytime, and will share things of importance with you personally as we go along. It is my sincerest intention to help you become your best, and to succeed at what you love.
I am looking not for women who “need” to make money, and do so by making things. But for whom creating is a way of connecting to Spirit, and a source of joy. If you ind yourself “lost” in time when you create, then I may be looking for you! In order to stay true to my vision, all product will be high-end, and I will not inviting “crafters” to participate, as I want it to represent the best of Divine Creative Energy-the kind women attune themselves with, and make the world a better place through. Everything will be reviewed and it will be a “by invitation only” type shop. I don’t want to exclude anyone, because I know firsthand what rejection feels like, but in order to keep the project on track and focused, I will need to do so.
I also intend to offer classes/workshops for women/children which foster creativity, healing through creative expression, spirituality through creativity, and finding our voice through creating. I will also invite artists and artistic souls to share their perspective and teachings as well.
I will hold special events, where women can come and share in Creative Day-retreats where they can be encouraged to stretch, and supported in their journey, Picnics/Play days and Art classes for home/unschooled children and other-abled children too, and many more ideas!
Many things afoot….

SO: Here are the ways you can apply to be involved:
========================================

Option 1: Straight Consignment: Here’s how it works:
You let me know you’re interested in being considered, and I send you an email requesting you send me 1 Sample. If you are a painter or have product worth more than $50, you are welcome to send prints/greeting cards, or to Pay for return shipping, should you not be invited. Keep in mind that I will be shipping from Ontario Canada. If you ARE invited to participate, I will catalog your sample as one item in my shop, and put it for sale. There are 2 Consignment Options: 60% (you) 40% (the shop). This percentage does NOT include the monthly advertising co-op of $5.00/month. If you’re concerned about a monthly fee (which may be purchased at 6 month installments) you may also opt for a 50% (you)50% (the shop) split, which will then also cover your monthly co-op amount.
You MUST leave your product in the shop for a 1 year contract, and then should you wish to continue, it will be on a 6 month by 6 month contract.
Option 2: Rent Space for your product in the Shop: Selection process is the same as above…But You pay $35/month, which includes your co-op advertising fee, and you make 100% of each sale back. You still must commit to 1 year, and rental amounts can be paid monthly, in 3 month or 6 month increments. If you pay for a year, you get a discount of $20, and it costs $400.00. After the first year, you may renew or discontinue your contract without penalty.
*The co-op advertising gives us the chance to advertise the shop/events in local newspapers, radio and TV.

You are welcome to switch your contract type after the first 6 months, but each time you switch, there is an admin fee of $20.00, since it requires re-tagging your product and changing the catalogue system.
ALL artists are required to pay a one time set-up fee of $35.00, which includes admin and inventory set up. This fee never happens again, as long as you stay with us! If you discontinue your contract, and then decide to come back on board, the admin fee applies each time you re-join. So basically, join and stay forever!
I will be starting a newsletter within the first 6 months or so, and will be featuring one artist in each newsletter. This service is covered by the co-op advertising fee, but other services like blog features, newspaper features, and etc. will be offered as paid (a la carte…)options throughout the year. These additional advertising opps are NOT mandatory. I just want to be able to offer opportunities to further your business!
I will also have a website at some point, but probably not more than a landing page for the first year. I’m happy to link to your sites for free from the landing page, once it’s up!!

WHEW! This is really long!

Ok-finally…I’ll need to know your feedback on the above options. I would like to know who feels they would like to apply for consideration, and which option looks the best currently. I would also like to have a vote on naming the center, since I’ve narrowed it down to 2 names…
If you’re a local artist, or travel to Ontario-I’d love to have you come and share your talent with us in person! Please mention that in your email.
And finally, if after reading this announcement, you no longer feel it’s a good fit for you, please simply reply with “no thank you” in the subject line, and I’ll remove your email from my mailing list.:)
Thank you all for reading this incredibly lengthy email, (this is why I am currently  writing a NOVEL! lol), and I look forward to hearing back from you soon!
With Excitement!
Marcie

I’m talking about that feeling ladies-the one where we are BURSTING with something fresh, lovely, bold, intuitive, brazen or just plain unconventional. We have discovered a tiny path through a thick forest-walked only by a few, but noticed and gazed at by many. Within us, we have this understanding that something-must-change.

Outside of us however, there are many conventions-beliefs about who we must/should/need to be. The “right order” of priorities, opportunities and advantages. It could be motherhood-coupledom-school-health conditions or simply (but powerfully) our own long-held shortsighted perspectives. No matter the specific reason, we each have found ourselves here, in this jar-lid purposefully and tightly sealed, cramped and wanting out….no matter the “how”, the feeling of being more than what we are-of deserving a chance to BECOME all we were created to be, remains the same.

I’ve been standing on this well-worn spot for quite awhile now. I’ve looked all around me and practically begged people to give me the answers I need-the permission to fly-the equation for freedom.

But finally, I have uncovered the secret. Not in an ancient text or written in the sky-just here. In my heart, through the wise counsel of women who have been here. I could only find this on my own after being tired of this place. After being fed-up with fetters and chock-full of shackles.

I discovered, that though I willingly crawled into the jar, believing wholeheartedly in good faith that I was safe inside-and that should I ever be ready (healthy, strong etc…) enough to come out, the lid would be opened willingly for me…..

And, as so many others before me, I have discovered this is not the case. People don’t like change. They are used to us being in the jar, living the title, fulfilling the role….and to set us free means risking it all.

So I’ve been standing here, on this wellworn circle of grass-waiting-praying-wishing-dreaming that someone, that one specific someone in particular, would take the plunge, the risk, the chance. On me. On my intellect, my intuition, my drive and determination, my well-proven track record of creating things out of nothing. “Open the lid”, I begged. “Please let me try…” I pleaded. “Just give me a chance!” I demanded.

But here’s the secret: I may have climbed into the jar willingly, and we make choices based on the information we have at the time. And that’s ok. But I do NOT have to stay inside willingly.

This whole time, I’ve believed the only way out was through the top, my cramped limbs and unflexed muscles have been straining to stay contained-trying to find a way to be comfortable where I am.

But what if: What if I stop straining to stay contained? And instead simply allowed my limbs-my wings-to open and stretch to their fullest potential? I’ll tell you what happens: This jar would explode into oblivion. It cannot contain me-how silly I was to think it would!

It would be lovely if our partners, parents, bosses and ourselves would simply open the lid and make our coming out an easy and peaceful transition, sprinkling flower petals as we walked our rite.

But this is seldom the way true heroines emerge. Heroines give themselves the permission that the damsels in distress ask others to give to them.

Besides- there is something to be said for explosive entrances-the kind that cause eyebrows to raise, and make people ask the question:

“Who is this Wild Woman, and HOW did she get into that tiny Jar!”

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 Thanks~!

Marcie