2020 Daddy Doula Jordan. Story told by Laura

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Nominee for Daddy Doula Award 2020

My partner, Jordan

Why do you feel this Daddy Doula deserves the award?

Jordan works for a charity, entertaining seriously ill kids and families.
He’s also 4.5 years sober and now mentors addicts within his fellowship…and he’s 8 years younger than me.
He finds joy in serving. Helping others and supporting those in need.
I have never been in more need of support in my life and I simply cannot think of anyone who deserves to be celebrated more than him.
He is truly a remarkable human being.jordan and baby in ocean

Describe your birth experience in 3 words:

Empowering, Inspiring, LONG

How did you prepare for birth?

She Births® course with the amazing Chauncey. Getting out into nature. Meditating to Nadine’s voice before bed, in the bath, anywhere I could! Reading Ina May Gaskin and Sarah J Buckley.

How did you bring your baby into the world?

Naturally, surrounded by my incredible partner and love, Jordan, his amazing Mum Gina, 3 midwives, in a dimly lit birth room with candles, a salt lamp and delicious diffuser.

Who supported you throughout the birth?

Jordan and his mum.

What was the most challenging part of the birth?

The length. Our labour was 64.5hours long.

What most helped you through the birth experience?

Spinning baby exercises, as Rumi’s head, was tilted, so she couldn’t get through the birth canal, breathing and making a lot of sounds.

Was there anything that surprised you on the day?

Going to the birth centre and being sent home to labour again. The feeling when my waters broke.

My Story

We never wanted to find out the sex of our baby.
So much of life is planned and the surprise and spontaneity are often missed – and what could be a better surprise than finding out if you were having a boy or girl, as they lay in your arms for the very first time.
We were so excited for this birth, nervous – yes, but so incredibly ready and grateful.
We felt so blessed and truly knew how lucky we were.
Our baby was already surrounded by so much love. From family and friends to the Blessing-way and vivid dreams, which surprisingly, she came quite powerfully.
We diffused the oils, we twerked the rebozo’s, we even ate the eggplant…this was going to go like clockwork right!?
WRONG!!
After labouring at home for 24hrs, I knew this baby was literally about to pop out on our kitchen floor.
But as I called Tilly the midwife who was on duty at the time and told her how this baby was ON THE WAY, she calmly told me I was doing a great job and to keep trying to rest.
Rest? Ummmm I don’t know what her idea of rest way…but it sure as hell wasn’t mine.
It was pretty confronting labouring at home with just the two of us, this foreign birthing ‘thing’ that we were going through together, not knowing if we were doing it right and not knowing when the baby was about to come.
But I never panicked.jordan showering baby
I had the best partner, who was there for me the entire way.
Jordan filled up the baths, rubbed my back, shook my bum and reassured me that I was safe and everything was going perfectly.
But the waiting was too much.
“I knew my body” and I KNEW this baby was about to pop out.
So one of our beautiful midwives Tilly said to come in and meet her there at midnight.
We drove past the bars and saw the stragglers on the street. Drunk and out living their best lives.
I remember driving past a bus stop and seeing a young couple absolutely going for it on the bus stop bench and thinking I was in some weird dream.
What the hell had I gotten myself into? Will I ever be able to be the women going at it on the bus stop bench again!?
After a short 4hour visit, Tilly the midwife sadly told us to go home and keep labouring there.
She knew the birth we wanted and she knew the possibility of things not going the way we wanted if we stayed.
So off we went. Coming back into our front door, without a baby broke my heart.
But surely it won’t be long and we’d be back again. This happened to a friend of ours and she was back within 2 hours.
… 2 DAYS later and there we were. Still labouring at home.
Darling Jords eyes were boggling out of his head and I told him to take periods of sleep in the babies room whenever he could.
So on the final night, he slept for nearly 7hours and I kept labouring.
He needed it because I needed him.
At 7:30 am the next day, I flung open his door and said “Get ready, we’re having this baby”
He was up and we were out.
Heading back to the hospital we had a different midwife, but as soon as I saw her face and that it was Petra, I knew this was it.
She was an ANGEL and although our INCREDIBLE midwife Megan couldn’t be there, this was perfect.
She broke my waters and this is when we found out our babies head was tilted.
So, in her divine Polish accent she said “Right, it’s Spinning Babies time. You’re going to hate me, but this is what I want you to do”
Now, one of these moves was to stand with one leg up on a chair and do deep lunges during each contraction…all I could do was say “I can’t even do a lunge pre-pregnancy, let alone NOW” But she wasn’t having a bar of it “DO IT”
So I did.
6 hours of labour and it worked.jordan and baby hat
Our little baby spun her head and was ready to come into the world.
Right as the pushing was about to start, I had no idea, but our divine midwife Megan had messaged Petra and said “when Laura’s about to push, let me know so I can come in and be there” and she did.
The door opened and it was like a guardian angel arrived.
So we had Jords, his mum Gina, Megan, Petra and Mel a student midwife, in a dimly lit room with oils and candles going and the light of a salt Lamp keeping me calm.
Petra was coaching me “Breathe Breathe Breathe…and blow out the candles…breathe, breathe, breathe” and
SHE WAS HERE.
Our divine, patient, loving and calm Rumi Bo Gallaway was born.
“Rub rub rub, 3 men in a tub” was the first thing I heard Petra say before I heard the greatest sound I’d ever heard in my life – Rumi’s cry.
I honestly couldn’t believe I still managed to have the birth of my dreams after such a long time to get there.

Anything else you would like to tell us about your experience?

I recently had a clearing from my amazing kinesiologist to clear some birth trauma from the process that I went through.
She could feel that I was still stuck in transition and hadn’t fully allowed myself to release and celebrate the incredible birth that I had.
That was remarkable.
I can finally share how amazing it was.