2020 Daddy Doula Brendan. Story told by Roxanne

Nominee for Daddy Doula Award 2020

My partner, Brendan

Why do you feel this Daddy Doula deserves the award?

Throughout our entire pregnancy journey, Brendan supported me without hesitation for my desire to have a natural physiological birth. At every OB appointment, he advocated for me even when I didn’t have the energy to and was always the first to ask ‘Why?’ when we were being told we needed to do something that was outside of our intentions for our birth. He took notes in every birth class and every video we watched, he learnt how to antenatally express colostrum for me and when it came to the day the OB wanted to induce us he broke his nose playing cricket which bought us an extra week! Jokes aside, when we did decide on our terms that we would be induced at 41+1 weeks he made sure we had everything on the very extensive hospital pack list I wrote, cooked a delicious breakfast and then drove us to the hospital.

He was an absolute rock for the entire day, he kept calm, offered me every type of relief that he knew we had, and was so present to me for the entire time, our Doula only just made it for the last 45mins before Elinor arrived so it was mostly Brendan who supported me throughout the labour. It does not stop there, in the weeks and months post-birth I never wanted for anything – too hot, too cold, thirsty, hungry, every type of delicious food I missed whilst pregnant, he was there to provide the antidote. I can count on one hand how many times I prepared a meal for myself in those firth three months. It was always our intention to exclusively breastfeed whilst expressing a little as well. Of course, this is very demanding on the mother but I could only get through it because I knew that if I ever needed Brendan to do a feed, settle, wrap, nappy change at any time day or night that he would be there, he never once complained or delayed in his support. Anything that I or Elinor needed he was there, and still continues to be, often before I even knew I needed it myself, and that is why he deserves the accolade, he already is the best Daddy Doula I could have ever dreamed of to me.

Describe your birth experience in 3 words:

empowering, amazing, strong.

How did you prepare for birth?

We did a few independent birth courses in our local area as well as lots of Spinning Babies, massages and She Births® Online Course, we also had a doula who helped us combine everything we had learnt and look after each other.

How did you bring your baby into the world?

After a short (4.5hour) induced labour, we had a natural vaginal birth with no other interventions or medicated pain relief.

Who supported you throughout the birth?

my partner Brendan and our Doula.

What was the most challenging part of the birth?

being induced as it wasn’t our first preference

What most helped you through the birth experience?

Having the unwavering support of my partner Brendan, he was such a calm yet assertive energy that I needed. Our Doula came in at the perfect time to change things up and give Brendan a short break. And the photos! I had a few photos next to me, an ultrasound, a pic of my sister and mum and one of Brendan and I on a holiday where we made plans for when we would start trying for a family brought so much love to my heart.

Was there anything that surprised you on the day?

How quickly it came time to push!