DADDY DOULA: JULIEN
Julien was the most amazing support during birth.
At home I was on the fit ball most of the time. My favourite relief was the hip squeeze. I was sitting on the fit ball with the back of a chair in front on me. I was standing up leaning on the back of the chair for each contraction and Julien was squeezing my hips at each contraction.
While the contractions were not too strong at the beginning, we tried all the other tools we learnt at She Births®, but no: I only wanted the hip squeeze.
As the contractions were getting more intense, I was concentrating and closed my eyes. I didn’t realise that, in between contractions, Julien was getting everything ready to go to the hospital, packing all the last minutes items (and some extras!) during the 2 minutes rest but he was always back behind me on time to squeeze my hips for each contraction. I didn’t feel any stress coming from him running around to get everything ready and back and forth to me to squeeze my hips every, give me water and encouragement, etc.
He called the hospital to let them know where we were at. This does not sound like a big deal, but English is not his first language and he HATES the phone in English, he is always afraid to make people repeat etc… but this time he sounded like a pro: “She is having 3 contractions every 10 min, lasting more than a minute, for 2 hours now.” The midwife didn’t ask many questions and told us to come.
This is when I realised everything was ready to go by the door! I started asking: “Did you get this? Did you get that?” He answered: “I have everything we need, don’t worry.” That was great because I couldn’t be bothered to switch on my brain to think about what we could have forgotten. He had also prepared the TENS machine for me.
The car ride is the only time he didn’t do the hip squeeze… he was driving! When we arrived at the hospital he did the hip squeeze in the parking lot, in the lobby… until the delivery room.
At the hospital our Doula was here as well. Julien was setting up the room with her with mats, fit ball, music etc… but julien was back squeezing my hips every 3 minutes in time for each contraction.
Our Doula was communicating with the hospital staff as we had to make few decisions during labour and she was getting back to us (Julien and I as a team) to explain to us the options and the consequences.
Julien took two toilets breaks during the 13h labour. So he might have missed 4 or 5 contractions for the hip squeeze. Our Doula was amazing but only Julien was hitting the right spot with the right intensity for the hip squeeze so he kept going, following me everywhere even in the shower kneeling behind me for 2 hours.
At transition stage I was asking him to squeeze so hard that his biceps were shaking. I didn’t know that, until the midwife told me after I had the baby. But he never missed a single contraction.
All through labour he was telling me I was amazing, I was capable and that I was going to be just fine. He was putting the straw in my mouth for me to drink, helping me to change position, move around etc.
I couldn’t have given birth without any pain relief to a 4.060kg baby if he hadn’t been by my side doing all the above.
I am so glad we did She Births®, I am sure he had this inside him but She Births® empowered him, gave him confidence and all the tools to support me.
When baby came, he caught the baby and placed him on my chest. The pride and love I saw in his eyes is indescribable… made my heart melt, for my baby and of course for my man.
The day our baby boy was born is the day I fell in love all over again with my man… to a degree I didn’t know existed before. Don’t get me wrong I loved him deeply before!
Our baby Martin is 5 weeks now and Julien is the most amazing dad. I am so lucky to be on this parenting journey with him.